नोटबंदी पे तुकबंदी : १

नोटबंदी पे तुकबंदी : १

जो ये जोक पे हसेगा उसको कुछ भी बदल के नही मिलेगा

हमारे घाटकोपर मे एक से बढकर एक जानकार है. ऐसा ही एक जानकार सलाह दे रहा था :

मोदी जी को इतनी तकलीफ लेने की कुछ जरूर नही थी . एक सिम्पल सी चीज करते तो भी डी-मोनेटाईझेशन हो जाता था . कैसे ?

नोटो पे जो महात्मा गांधी का फोटो है वो बदल के उसके जगह राहुल गांधी का फोटो डालते तो नोटो की किंमत ऐसे ही झीरो हो जाती थी !

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Suicide is an offence Miltary Act 1950

As per Army Act 1950, committing a suicide is a punishable offence for MIlitary Personnel. Read at (c) below:

64. Miscellaneous offences. Any person subject to this Act who commits any of the following offences, that is to say,- (a) being in command at any post or on the march, and receiving a complaint that any one under his command has beaten or otherwise maltreated or oppressed any person, or has disturbed any fair or market, or committed any riot or trespass, fails to have due reparation made to the injured person or to report the case to the proper authority; or (b) by defiling any place of worship, or otherwise, intentionally insults the religion or wounds the religious feelings of any person; or (c) attempts to commit suicide, and in such attempt does any act towards the commission of such offence; or (d) being below the rank of warrant officer, when off duty, appears without proper authority, in or about camp or cantonments, or in or about, or when going to or returning from, any town or bazar, carrying a rifle, sword or other offensive weapon; or (e) directly or indirectly accepts or obtains, or agrees to accept or attempts to obtain, for himself or for any other person, any gratification as a motive or reward for procuring the enrolment' of any person, or leave of absence, promotion or any other advantage or indulgence for any person in the service; or (f) commits any offence against the property or person of any inhabitant of, or resident in, the country in which he is serving; shall, on conviction by court- martial, be liable to suffer imprison- ment for a term which may extend to seven years or such less punishment as is in this Act mentioned.

Dollar and Rupee
Dollar is becoming stronger because....
the stick in the Symbol of Dollar is vertical and gives support to the Dollar. But...
the stick in Rupee symbol is horizontal ....and gets stuck in the wrong place !

Why is Singhvi Shaky ?

1)            He likes to shake his legs…

2)            His English is Shakespearish…

3)            This is the second time he is resigning…

4)            He likes his sex the Sheikh’s way…

5)            Like a real sheikh, this Singhvi CD is for Rahul’s education, from his mentor !

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How Singhvi CD is a Public Issue…

1)            Mr. Singhvi is an MP and so is a Public Servant. How he gets to go to a prostitute where as Aam Aadmi does not…

2)            Mr. Singhvi like Mr. Clinton, seems to be doing a Blow job. Blowing his job may be his personal matter but as per traditional Indian Sex Catalogue of KamSutra it is not so Indian and goes against the fabric of Indian Sex Traditions and damages Indian sexual practices.

3)            There is no mention of “promise of judgeship to the lady in the act” in the CD. Then is she performing this for Ministership or Chief Justiceship ? Nation needs to know our future Judges, Ministers and Chief Justices..

4)            People of eminence generally engage drivers for private duty. How is Mr. Singhvi engaging a Screw Driver ?

5)            As per Mr. Khurshid, the CD is totally a private business. Then why a Public Court has to issue an injunction against it’s publication.

6)            For most of the time, Mr. Singhvi appears to be standing while performing the sexual acts in the CD. Is this the reason, he was chairing a standing committee ?

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Obsession of the written word !

       

 The defense minister Mr. A.K.Antony, like all common public is having a deep obsession with the written word. As per his report in Rajya Sabha, the Army Chief had not given the complaint in writing then, nor has he given it now. Still the Minister has now ordered CBI enquiry and CBI is scheduled to take a written statement from the Army Chief and the same will be considered as the written complaint in this case.

       There is a great disbelief in the common public that all important contracts and documents in the life of people, has to be in the written word. But it is not so. The greatest contract in any man’s life is “Marriage”, and remember how it is done ? You just have to say “I do” and you have committed yourself to the biggest commitment of your life. And may be you suffer the consequences of the same, later !

       The Biggest money transactions in money market are done verbally. The greatest auctions of arts, antiques or ( as recommended by our CAGs ) of 2-G or 3-G or coal blocks are all done verbally. Like, …the auctioneer shouts… “ 2 million one time, 2 million 2 times and 2 million 3 times…and now it is sold to….for…”

       When you are travelling in the most costly transport, say, a jumbo jet, the pilot’s decisions are all verbal and not written. It is another matter that all these are recorded by the black box for posterity. But decisions are all oral and not written.

       All the languages of the world strive, develop, expand or die away, all because of the situation of spoken word. If lot of people speak it, it thrives, lest it dies a quiet death. Even if heaps of written words exist in any language, but if there are no people to speak it, then it has to be declared as the dead language. Our Sanskrit has suffered the same destiny.

       Even legally there are many judgments which are delivered orally. As for resignations, they say legally even a verbal resignation is valid. With these standards, the defense minister holding his hand on the forehead, after the Army Chief, told him about the bribe offer of 14 crores, should be legitimately considered as his resignation. And we should relieve him forthwith !

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The Bell call’s—Answer !

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone and the first call he made was to his Assistant, Mr.Watson . That call was like this: “Mr.Watson, I want you to come here !”

There is no mention of how Mr.Watson answered that call but we can re-create the answer now as:

Watson-1 : “Show me your location on the GPS and I will come soon !”

Watson-2: “I am almost there and right now I am parking the car. See you soon !”

Watson-3: “I am stuck in Traffic Jam ! Can we meet tomorrow instead ?”

Watson-4: “Mr.Graham Bell, your girlfriend had called to remind you that you are running 2 hours late for the dinner date tonight !”

Watson-5: “Incoming call is not free for me, so if you are paying for this call, I will answer soon !”

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